So, I have this home office.
By “office” I mean “spare room that is full of arts and crafts supplies, a second hand futon and an old book case” It is a room I never use because while I love the IDEA of DIY projects (gluing stuff together, painting, knitting) I don’t like the actual DOING of these things.
Basically, I just like to buy supplies.
Hi, My name is Lanell and I’m an arts and crafts supply hoarder.
Oh how I love arts and crafts stores! I love them the same way I love office supply stores. They are so full of ideas and possibilities. Now that I have a niece and a nephew, not to mention my cousin who has little kids I have the perfect excuse to go into these stores because I’m fostering creativity.. hullo.
Except...
Except I buy art supplies that never make it into their tiny little hands. Instead I keep them for myself (picture Gollam and the Lord of The Rings.. "my precioussss") These supplies get stock piled for “one day”. Don’t we all have a “one day”? that great day when all the many projects and wishes get fulfilled and accomplished? Well all this waiting around for One Day was interfering with my renovations.
I have been slowly renovating my home for a few years. I share a two family with my .. well, family and I have the upstairs apartment. So far I have renovated the kitchen (gutted and redesigned of course now I want to repaint it) and made a dining room out of a spare bedroom. I’ve also redesigned my master (and now only) bedroom. Next on the list is ripping out the drop ceilings in the living room and the office then comes painting. Sounds exciting right?
No.
You ever watch that show House Crashers? The host wanders through a home development store and gifts an unsuspecting family with a home renovation? THIS IS WHAT I WANT!
I don’t want to make any decisions about the design and I don’t want to buy any supplies for said renovation. I just want it done!
Oh.. why can’t life be like the Jetsons?!?!
But I digress..
So over the summer I had shelves put in the closet of the office and then proceeded to stuff all the office supplies onto those shelves. The goal was to create and arts and crafts/ meditation room. A sanctuary.
My inner wild child wants something like this:
My adult me would settle for this:
In reality I am at a total stand still with this space, in fact, every time I stand in the room I draw a complete blank.
So I slowly back out just close the door.
I was playing hookey one day last week and was (whining) talking on the phone with my guru, Sib. Sib is someone who offers great insight when I can’t see the forest through the trees. Most of the time he rescues me from my own hysteria. That morning's conversation centered aroudn the office space.
This was me: “UUUGGGGGGH!” And also thrashing on my bed in full two year old temper tantrum.
This was Kevin on the other end of the phone: O_o
Finally I said “I should just throw everything out!”
And Kevin said “maybe you should.”
::;screeching brakes::: Ruh?
You know when someone says something so shocking and obvious that it causes the Realization Light Bulb in your brain to click on? This person has offered up the perfect solution to your problem and at the same time the solution to your problem means you have to come to grips with the reality of your situation.
And that realization of that reality is so offensive that makes you want to bite them in the face?
That was my reaction
Actually it brought out my inner Downton Abbey
I was really taken aback, and immediately stressed out.
“Get rid of … everything?” Cue watery eyes.
I could hear Sib shrug on the other side of the phone, oblivious to my distress.
“Well yeah, you aren’t using it and someone else could use it”
I felt faint. “B-but if I give it away, then it’s like I failed” ::sniffle::
“You did fail. You didn’t do what you set out to do. Now you have to move on.”
Blink.
I failed? I FAILED!
Picture me, sliding down the shower wall.
I knew he was right. He’s usually always right, which infuriates me.
Admittedly, I had these supplies for years and the only thing I was accomplishing with them was creating bigger piles of things. I kept trying to come up with new design ideas by trying to design around the elephant in the middle of the room. I had to get rid of the elepant.
Dammit.
Later that morning I made a call to the Council of Aging in my town. I had tons of yarn and who likes yarn better than the aging?
Kittens. Yeah sure.. but they don’t knit. So other people’s grandmas were the next best thing.
and because the Law of Attraction works in mysterious ways, woman at the CoA said “How funny that you called, there’s a knitting class going on right now!” She thanked me so much that I was instantly embarrassed about my reluctance to give up my supplies and I immediately packed up the yarn (Yes sir, yes sir, two garbage bags full, the majority of it still in the original wrapping. )
I only hesitated a little when I dropped off the bags and the woman at the desk said “oh, my goodness!” at the amount.
Which made me want to bite her in the face.
As for the rest of my supplies, I brought a shopping bag fulll of paint, crayons and scrape paper down stairs to my mother’s house.. My sister’s and cousin’s kids will make quick work of it I’m sure.
I kept a small reserve just in case I feel the need to get crafty.
As confirmation from the Universe one of the articles in today's The Daily Love was about how to get unstuck. This paragraph knocked me right on the head:
My friend Ariel Joseph, also known as “The Feng Shui Guy”, shares some brilliant advice about this: “You cannot pick up something new in your life unless you put down what you are holding onto. If you look around your space through the lens of feng shui, you may begin to notice that your home is literally a reflection of your inner environment. So it stands to reason that whether you work outside in (letting go of your stuff) or inside out (making space inside your mind and heart) making space is the first step in preparing yourself to receive.”
I’d like to say that my office is now empty but..
While patting myself on the back for my selfless giving I decided to tackle my clothes closet and..
Well..
That’s an entry for another day.
